See You Later, 2018!

With only one day left of 2018, it’s time to look back on the last 12 months.

For the most part, a lot has happened. I learned a lot about myself and experienced a lot of highs and lows, but definitely more lows than highs for sure. The start of my 2018 was not the best, I didn’t have the best news. The spring 2018 semester started and was okay for the most part, except I never experienced so much mental stress in my life, to the point where it started to effect my work and my perception of people, especially those who have started to get close to me. I started to find myself, caring less about certain things they talked about with me and started having this “fuck it” attitude.. I found myself not caring as much, which started to scare me. The rest of the year was similar: a lot of good and bad days.

Let’s start with the good! Had a great family vacation during the summer. My family and I haven’t traveled much when we go on vacations, and we took a cruise! I presented some research at a national conference for the first time. I’ve presented at conferences before, so I was not too nervous, but it was still different. Friendships flourished and lovely memories were made, things that I will keep dear to me.

The lows... Ah, a lot has happened. For each obstacle, I tried to take care of it myself. I felt that if I ever asked for help I couldn’t handle it on my own. For most of my life, I was able to handle problems on my own, or it would pan out the way I would like it too. That did not happen a lot this year, I guess the way things happened for me was due to my own actions. For the most part, I notice that I wait. I wait hoping everything will settle as it should. This happens to me for the most part, I think that is why I try to “go with the flow” and hope for the best… Like I mentioned, it didn’t really happen this year

2018 gave me life lessons and made me learn a lot about myself. I felt that I was able to see things differently, from different perspectives. During the last few days for the year, I admitted to myself things that I didn’t want to believe was true.

I’m going to be honest. I’m afraid of the new year. I don’t know what 2019 will bring. 2018 wasn't the greatest, and I’m afraid that my fortune will continue and not change.

My only wish for the new year is to be happy and healthy… please.